This Is An Emergency

You're waking up a part of me I've never known

and I've never felt so invincible

*I know we aren't really close anymore, but I just want to say, you have opened up this amazing thing for me. You have helped me so much, and basically changed my life. I really hope we can get to know each other again, because you are so important to me. Thank you so much. GH

What took you so far away?

* I miss you so freaking much, and I could totally use you right now before I explode! I really realize how much you mean to me when I haven't spoken to you in weeks, and I want to become such best of friends with you this summer, kayyy? KG

You're lost for tonight again

that's what you wanted?

*I had a really good evening, apart from me getting lost in the hot sun for half an hour. Also, this whole last week has been really fabulous, apart from a few moments. This summer is going to be so amazing. ML,NR ,JC ,TG ,JK ,AL,TR ,SL.

Your arms to your side again.

* I think that I really do love you to bits, but we have a few things we should talk about. Please don't think I stopped loving you or needing you, because that isn't the case. We just have a few more bumps to smooth over. I love you, you beautiful babe. AL.

Just take away the words I say

'Cause I know that you don't feel the same.

*When I am with you, I really just want to talk with you for hours and hours. I love being with you, and I want us to happen. As an us. I don't want you to hurt me again, but I think that is unavoidable. And to be honest, I don't really care at this point. I am pretty sure you don't feel the same way, and I can deal with that. But I can't stop the fact that you leave me speechless, or that you make me smile uncontrollably. Take a guess.

Just go and say what's in your head

and I won't try to stop you.

*I really am so glad we talked. I love that I am getting to know you, and that you are getting to know me. You are am amazing boy, and I hope so much for you! I really think you should keep talking, you have some amazing thoughts in that cute little head of yours. JK

You hold the rights I'll never own

*So there are countless people who have been given something I wanted so much. And you know what? I don't think that bothers me anymore. There are a few times when it irks me, but this was clearly meant to happen. Please be careful, because you were given this amazing thing, and don't blow it. NR&DBH AL&GH ML&JK RM&BG LP&BW

And I've never felt, so alien

Don't tear us apart again.

*I really do feel like an outcast. With the countless couples all around me, it has never been this lonely to be single. I don't even know what to do anymore.

What is the use of it?
We’re okay .. It's nothing. .

*I can't pretend like everything is good for me when it isn't. I have done some stupid things, and need to stop. I know I have so many people out there to help me, so thank you. I know I can trust you. ML AL JC JK

It's all chemistry of a car crash
And I won't try so you'll stay this time

I won't try and I won’t change

This time I won't try to stop you.

*There are a lot of things I could say about this verse relating to my life.

But I think I'll leave it for you to interpret.

Step On The Stage, The Lights, The Praise.

"So, this is it.

Grade ten, done.

My last exam, finished.

Summer '08 has finally begun."

I'm Feeling Rough, I'm Feeling Raw, I'm In The Prime Of My Life

"There has been so many ups and downs of this school year.

One exam left, and it is all done.

I can already tell this summer is going to be the best.

Thanks for the greatest start.

Especially today."

If I Gave You My Number.

"Numbers

*730 - days until I am officially done high school

*793 - songs on my preferred playlist

*3006 - songs on my iPod

*1413 - photos from grade 10

*9 - cuts

*4 - betrayals

*6 - couples that gross me out

*4 - times he was an asshole to me

*8 - boys

*6 - crushes on one of my best friends

*5 - crushes becoming couples

*3 - were my fault

*2 - times that has happened

*1 - time was too much

*3 - super close single friends

*9 - super close coupled friends

*1 - ex boyfriend

*1 - complete joke of a relationship

*9 - new friends

*1 - broken friendship fixed

*1 - broken cell phone

*And more memories I could ever count.

Goodbye grade ten. Chances are, I won't miss most of you.

The parts worth missing are going to last."

And It Started At Zero

"*I am praying for you so much right now.

*IRTINSH.

*This is so stressful.

*IRNTSHM.

*I have never felt this alone with my own friends before.

*ICBIAHM.

*Twice in one year, sucks.

*WAWTETY.

*I can't believe I might not get to go to camp.

*YASAD,LD,FPUB.

We're Fated To Pretend.

"I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.

I am trying as hard as humanly possible to say positive right now."

Here To See It Through Till The Day's End.

"NR, JC, ML, AL, DBH, JK, CC, TLG, LB, KG & TG are just the folks to do it."

I'm Thinking It's A Sign

"*So, I don't want to get my hopes up, but I think we will work out. I'd like to hope so, anyways.

*You and her are always in my prayers. I know you will get through this.

*I don't have feelings for you anymore, which is good because you two are going to be so good together.

*You are nothing to me. Once a douche, always a douche.

*I am so content right now, even the rain can't ruin my mood.

* There aren't really any problems going on in my life at the moment. Except that I am seriously slacking on my homework.

*6 more days."

And All At Once It's So Familiar To See.

"It is really hard doing nothing."

I Wish We All Could Win, I Wish We All Could Smile.

"And that is what I am going to do."

If You Just Realized What I Just Realized.

So, lately I have been really down about a lot. Things just aren't going in favor of me, and it is pretty shitty. Here is a nice song I love at this moment, and some words for thought.

Your life dreams are shattered

Now you're gone away

We've cried here for hours

And the hours turn to days

*So, basically I just don't know what I want anymore, and I am not getting the things I think I want. It is weird, though, because although I am sad about it, I know it will work out in the end. It has to.

We know you regret this

Leaving us here

With portraits and memories

That we've held so dear

*To my dearest friends, I still have all the pictures you have drawn, notes you've written, and things you've made. Some are even framed. They are my favorite things in the world.

When I hear you name

It's not the same

No matter what they say

I'm not okay.

*I know there are other people who have it worse off, but I am just so tired of all these let downs.

And we started at zero

And went different ways

Now we're all out here wasting away

And if we started at zero

Then how did things change?

It seems like just yesterday

We were the same

*So, basically I am so glad things are back to normal (mostly) with us. I still think I want to tell you again what made me upset, just so you fully understand, but right now I am happy with this. And things seem as normal as ever (except with the new hot stud bf)

It's been 3 months since he left us

So far nothings been the same

And my question without answer is:

am I the one to blame?

*Sometimes I wonder if I actually brought this upon myself.

He was such a good description

of a favored future man

He spoke well of other people

And they said the same for him

*It is ridiculous, but the more I spend time with you the more I like you. I think that this is more serious than I thought. But I think that if something else happens between you two, I'll let it.

I mean, it can only hurt for so long, right?

When I hear your name

It's not the same

No matter what they say

I'm not okay.

*So I am trying really really hard here, but I think that I have become a little depressed. I want to be okay, but I just can't seem to be.

And we started at zero

And went different ways

Now we're all out here wasting away

And if we started at zero

Then how did things change?

It seems like just yesterday

We were the same

*I have never been so sure of who I want to be friends with and who I don't before until now. I think that I have the most amazing group of friends, which is why I cannot give up. Thank you JC, NR, ML, KG, JK, CCx2, TLG, LB, and AL. Things will start getting better because of you.

They say they’re sorry, but what are they sorry for?

How could they possible know what I’m going through?

I feel like no one has ever had to deal with this pain

I am dealing with right now.

*I actually have never felt less alone right now. I mean, I still don't think anyone can understand what it is like to be in my situation, but I know that wherever I go, there will be someone there to cheer me up and be there for me. That is real friendship.

Just six months ago everything was fine, or so it seemed

What sort of events caused it to go downhill?

His parents are devastated, his girlfriend’s depressed.

What was he thinking?

*I have to wonder what boys think. I never seem to know what goes through their minds. So much has happened in the last six months. Even in the last three months. It is crazy to think that in 3 short weeks I will be done my first year of high school.

And we started at zero

And went different ways

Now we're all out here wasting away

And we started at zero

And went different ways

Now we're all out here wasting away

And if we started at zero

Then how did things change?

It seems like just yesterday we were the same

We were the same,

We were the same.