If You Just Realized What I Just Realized.

So, lately I have been really down about a lot. Things just aren't going in favor of me, and it is pretty shitty. Here is a nice song I love at this moment, and some words for thought.

Your life dreams are shattered

Now you're gone away

We've cried here for hours

And the hours turn to days

*So, basically I just don't know what I want anymore, and I am not getting the things I think I want. It is weird, though, because although I am sad about it, I know it will work out in the end. It has to.

We know you regret this

Leaving us here

With portraits and memories

That we've held so dear

*To my dearest friends, I still have all the pictures you have drawn, notes you've written, and things you've made. Some are even framed. They are my favorite things in the world.

When I hear you name

It's not the same

No matter what they say

I'm not okay.

*I know there are other people who have it worse off, but I am just so tired of all these let downs.

And we started at zero

And went different ways

Now we're all out here wasting away

And if we started at zero

Then how did things change?

It seems like just yesterday

We were the same

*So, basically I am so glad things are back to normal (mostly) with us. I still think I want to tell you again what made me upset, just so you fully understand, but right now I am happy with this. And things seem as normal as ever (except with the new hot stud bf)

It's been 3 months since he left us

So far nothings been the same

And my question without answer is:

am I the one to blame?

*Sometimes I wonder if I actually brought this upon myself.

He was such a good description

of a favored future man

He spoke well of other people

And they said the same for him

*It is ridiculous, but the more I spend time with you the more I like you. I think that this is more serious than I thought. But I think that if something else happens between you two, I'll let it.

I mean, it can only hurt for so long, right?

When I hear your name

It's not the same

No matter what they say

I'm not okay.

*So I am trying really really hard here, but I think that I have become a little depressed. I want to be okay, but I just can't seem to be.

And we started at zero

And went different ways

Now we're all out here wasting away

And if we started at zero

Then how did things change?

It seems like just yesterday

We were the same

*I have never been so sure of who I want to be friends with and who I don't before until now. I think that I have the most amazing group of friends, which is why I cannot give up. Thank you JC, NR, ML, KG, JK, CCx2, TLG, LB, and AL. Things will start getting better because of you.

They say they’re sorry, but what are they sorry for?

How could they possible know what I’m going through?

I feel like no one has ever had to deal with this pain

I am dealing with right now.

*I actually have never felt less alone right now. I mean, I still don't think anyone can understand what it is like to be in my situation, but I know that wherever I go, there will be someone there to cheer me up and be there for me. That is real friendship.

Just six months ago everything was fine, or so it seemed

What sort of events caused it to go downhill?

His parents are devastated, his girlfriend’s depressed.

What was he thinking?

*I have to wonder what boys think. I never seem to know what goes through their minds. So much has happened in the last six months. Even in the last three months. It is crazy to think that in 3 short weeks I will be done my first year of high school.

And we started at zero

And went different ways

Now we're all out here wasting away

And we started at zero

And went different ways

Now we're all out here wasting away

And if we started at zero

Then how did things change?

It seems like just yesterday we were the same

We were the same,

We were the same.